Remember when Lebron James announced that he was taking his talents to Miami and there was an hour special dedicated to him saying one sentence?
This is not the same thing so don’t get it twisted.
(actually, in a way it is)
I have always played volleyball for my love of competing and my love of the game.
I started because I was curious.
I continued because I loved to play.
Once I realized I was good I then loved to win.
The last few years I couldn’t help but forget what my purpose in the sport was anymore as I became caught up in the success. Part of that was because winning became all that I knew. And part of that was because I lost my perspective that winning does not equate to success. As much as I hate to admit it, it was easy to become caught up in the mindset that volleyball is all encompassing to who I am when the game and my career was on the line.
It took some heartfelt messages and meetings with a few special fans, family and friends around the world to remember that I play because I love the game. I play because I want to inspire, just as I have been inspired by those before me.
But how do you inspire others when you lack inspiration yourself?
I’ve had a lot of time to reevaluate my goals, and think about what’s best for me moving forward. What’s a healthy challenge mentally and physically, and where I believe that I have the ability to thrive as both an athlete and an individual. I still want to compete and I know my time as an athlete is not a lifelong pursuit, so I’ve decided to take a chance back on the beach while pursuing my other interests.
Honestly, I hate goodbyes, but I can't start this journey without departing from a very special team. Thank you for the opportunity to grow with and learn from the most empowering women. It’s been an honour to represent our country with some of the most tenacious, caring, and captivating individuals I know. And it’s been a privilege to be a leader for the new generation of Team Canada members who will take this program to the top.
I may not always say it or show it on and off the court, but I am so so grateful for the connections I’ve made. To have played a role in our victories and laid a foundation for Canadian volleyball to grow through our defeats has been the greatest honour. You girls are in good hands, and I hope you enjoy the new scenery in Richmond! (I'm honestly a little bit jealous, but here's hoping I can catch you live at Grand Prix). For you young ones; enjoy the experience, believe in the journey, and embrace the opportunity. Not everyone gets to put on that jersey.
Moving forward I’ve decided to commit myself to beach volleyball. It's been 5 years since I played last (what?!), but I’m excited to see how the future unfolds. I'm anxious to see how my shoulder holds up which at this point is largely a mental hurdle, but after going through the hard part I feel like I can tackle anything.
Back to baby steps.
It’s been a difficult decision, but I’m excited for the challenge ahead! Quite frankly I'm really nervous, and anxious. In a good way. Looking forward to growing within the sport and to challenge myself to reach my next level. I hope you all continue to support me on my athletic journey, as I do my best to inspire you to go after yours.
In June I said goodbye to my first love.
It was a mutual break up, we needed some time apart. Time to reflect. Time to find ourselves.
But, I think I’m ready for Round 2 to begin.
See you at the beach!